Wednesday, May 18, 2016

LIFE | Meet My Demons

We all have our own demons. Here are mine.


We all have insecurities, but I'm plagued by mine. I know I'm not supposed to listen to the nasty voice in my head, but sometimes it's too loud; it's too strong.

You're not good enough.
You don't belong here.
You don't have enough experience.
You're nothing important
You're not worth loving.


No one is without fear, but I fear more than most and most of them are irrational.

I'm afraid of animals.
I'm afraid of people.
I'm afraid of making the wrong decisions.
I'm afraid of what people might say about me.
I'm afraid of losing my mind.
I'm afraid to love and to care because it means being vulnerable.


We are who we are because of our past. I feel broken because of mine.

Broken family.
Broken spirit.
Broken friendship.
Broken relationships.
Broken bridges.
Broken mind.

We all have our demons. Sometimes, they become our only companion because we've chased the world away from us in fear of consuming others into the darkness. We all have our demons, but that doesn't mean we have to live with them forever.

Make a pledge with me to do whatever it takes to overcome the negativity. Promise yourself that no matter how hard it gets, you will continue fighting. No matter how many tears you have to shed, you will continue pushing on...because at the end of the tunnel is the light and a new beginning. 

On the other side of that tunnel is a new life in which you have room to let people in, to let them love you the way you deserve to be loved. On the other side is a person who is kind and able to care for others without being afraid of disappointment, but only feel joy in being able to impart love and kindness to others.

On the other side of the tunnel is You. Me. Us.

I'll see you when we get there. Good luck.

Friday, May 13, 2016

LIFE | How Anxious People Are Portrayed On Television

I was watching one of my favorite shows Blindspot. There was a scene where three people were trapped in an elevator during an FBI lockdown, and one of those people just happen to not like closed spaces. She started getting really anxious and also started to panic.

I love the show and everything, but the way that anxiety was portrayed really irritated me. I understand that people have different ways in which they experience anxiety. It's an invisible illness for a reason! It means people don't freak out the way that character did. The actor portrayed people with anxiety as if people suffering from it are crazy. That's offensive to me.

What's more offensive? Another character told her that she was "overreacting." That really pushed my buttons. 

This is one of the reasons why I want to get back into acting. I want an accurate portrayal of people who actually struggle with an invisible mental illness. It's appalling that it's still such a taboo and most people still equate it to being insane. 

Having a mental illness doesn't always mean insanity. That's such an ignorant mentality. Hah, mentality. 

My mental struggles may seem trivial to some people, but it's very real to me when all I want to do is wish for it to end. If only people were more open-minded...

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I just needed to get that out. Let's all work to end the ignorance against mental illness, shall we?

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

FOOD | Shogun Teppan Steak and Sushi | Happy Hour

You probably know by now that I love sushi and seafood. So, when my mom suggested we go to Shogan Restaurant to celebrate Mother's Day, I went along with it. Also, it was her day; I wasn't going to say no ;)

To start, I ordered Calamari Rings (pictured above). It was completely deep fried and reminded me of onion rings. It was surprisingly tender and delicious, though I wouldn't make it a habit to order it. I wasn't that comfortable with how deep fried it was, but I thought, once in a while I'd indulge.

Since we came during happy hour, we had a limited selection of dishes, so I just went for the Eel roll. It was delicious, actually. My mom ordered a California roll, but it was too bland for me.

As for my mom's main dish, she ordered Yellow Tail Cama. She went on and on about how it didn't taste fishy and it was simply delicious. It was basically the neck of a yellow tail. I tried it and it was delicious, but there was something about it that I wasn't crazy about. Anyway, my mom really enjoyed it and that was all that matter. She also ordered a side of rice, because, well, she eats anything with rice ;)

Overall, I'd go back to the restaurant simply because my mom loved it. Happy hour deals were great, though I can't say the same about the regular menu.

Have you tried a Yellow Tail Cama? If not, what's your favorite dish to order at a sushi restaurant besides sushi?