Life: How I Stay Calm
What a coincidence that as I was writing this post, I was actually feeling anxious. Shall we get started?
Calm - I found this app because of Zoe(lla). I loved using the free guided meditation function. I originally started meditating for only five minutes at a time, but my psychologist said I really should be doing more. Now, I've been able to do about 20 minutes. I would call that progress.
Relax - I also found this app because of Zoe. I loved that I could create a cocktail of sounds with this app. I had two mixes: Rainstorm and Waves. Yes, I named those myself.
Grid Diary - this journal app forced me to recount my day and to reflect on that day. As with any journaling I've done, I eventually started slacking off. However, this was the only type of journaling that I've stuck with. I still journal, it just might be a bit late sometimes.
It all started with a coloring book from Target and 24 crayons. I chose the best I could find but I realized two things early on: I didn't actually like using crayons to color and I also didn't like the book I purchased. Well, that's when I started seeing mindfulness coloring books floating around on blogs and YouTube videos. Long story short, I made my way to Barnes and Noble and found one that I liked. I also went to Target to get colored pencils instead. Watch out for an official haul coming soon ;)
I left my essential oil at work, that's why I didn't have it in the photo, but I did show it in this haul video. The one I got was from Aura Cacia called Panic Button with Neroli and Rose. I thought the name was totally appropriate so I bought it instead of the pure lavender essential oil. I would waft the open bottle under my nose and inhale deep when I felt anxious. It actually forced me to breathe and the fragrance helped calm my nerves.
I'm very grateful that I don't have anxiety attacks as often as I used to. However, I'm far from cured. I actually have uncovered so much more that I have to work on with my therapist. Now that I don't have so many triggers to my anxiety, I can focus on improving myself and learning how to look at my bad memories and be detached from them.
I'm absolutely terrified of exploring them and making myself vulnerable, but I am determined to do whatever it takes within reason to get better. I don't want to start crying when I randomly talk about a memory and I certainly don't want to constantly be afraid to be around people. Most importantly, I want to stop doubting myself every time I have a conversation with another human being.
If you've read this far, thank you. Here's to a better and brighter tomorrow. Let's find something positive about each and every day so that we can be a little bit closer to finding true happiness.