addiction,

LIFE | Five Things That Make Me Different

12:00:00 AM Arianne 9 Comments


I was driving to work one morning when this idea came to me. It started out as a negative idea, but I was able to turn it around and make it into something positive. Being different isn't a bad thing. Our differences make us unique and quite the treasure if people make the effort to discover them.

1. I have a fear of addiction. I refuse to take any medication for my anxiety, even when I'm so overwhelmed sometimes. I would rather call a hotline than take any medication -- unless of course it's natural like melatonin or suntheanine.

2. Smoke makes me hypoventilate. A friend asked me recently what I do for fun since I don't have any vices. My simple answer was: I color. He was so taken aback that he paused for a few seconds. I explained to him that I grew up as a second-hand smoker, but ever since I immigrated to the United States, I got used to less pollution in the air. As a result, I hypoventilate (meaning I stop breathing) when I'm around smoke of any kind. I have a silly thought that if I don't breathe, maybe the smoke won't enter my system at all. 

3. I find comfort in misery. This is a reoccurring theme in my therapy sessions. I have a very good awareness of my actions and my surroundings, but that doesn't mean I'm always in control of myself. I find that no matter how miserable I am, I still seem to find a way to keep myself in that state. This is something I really want to work on. Misery is in my comfort zone, and this year, I want to step out of that and find happiness instead. 

4. I need constant silence when I'm alone, but I can't stand silence when I'm around people. This sounds so weird, even as I read it. When I'm alone in my own room, whether I'm blogging, working, or just wanting to spend time with myself to relax, I need complete and absolute silence. Any noise will set me over the edge. On the other hand, I cannot stand it when there's a lull in conversation when I am around people. I have an urge to always fill the silence, which is why I talk...A LOT.

5. I prefer receiving practical gifts. During the holidays when people buy presents, I tend to gravitate towards the practical gifts because they're what I want to receive as well. I totally would appreciate it if people bought me socks, a skincare product that I love, or even just a simple gift card. I'm not about the extravagant gifts -- I buy those for myself. 


Let me know in the comments one thing that makes YOU different from everyone else.

9 comments:

  1. This is a great idea for a post, it kinda matches your explanation why the 'E' is off-balance. ;) I have a fear of addiction, too, it can happen so fast. And I hate the thought of being dependant. Practical gifts are the best, I love receiving iTunes cards, shower gel and tea. x

    113-things-to-say.blogspot.com

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    1. I love iTunes gift cards, too! There's just a never-ending supply of things I want to buy from there, although there's not enough memory on my phone for it!

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  2. I also grew up as a Secondhand except I'm actually allergic to Cigarette Smoke So I use to get tons of nasal infections and if I inhale to much my 1ungs can fill with fluid. I agree with you about the Silences, which is why I tend to talk a lot as well. I really hope you find happiness!
    http://upanelmstree.com

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    1. thank you! I hope you find much happiness this year, too!

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  3. You sound so sweet and in your videos you look so adorable. I too don't like taking medication if my head hurts or a have a stomach ache. Yesss, I too love receiving practical gifts because then I actually use them (except candy-that I always eat :P). Great post.

    LEJA

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    1. thanks for stopping by and for the kind words!

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  4. Really great idea for a post and it was wonderful to learn a bit more about you though this. I am also afraid of getting addicted to certain things so I really keep my experimenting down to a safe minimum. I was a smoker for a while but somehow always hated (and still do!) second hand smoke even more. For some reason, when smoking myself, I never really thought about the health consequences in the moment, but when I breathe in second hand smoke from friends, I literally imagine visually how my lungs are shrivelling up and dying. I also find comfort in misery, because there is a kind of beauty in sadness, but I have worked on this and gotten past it - although I do miss the misery sometimes because of the visceral feeling being sad can give us. And the silence thing makes perfect sense and practical gifts are awesome! I once got a can opener (amongst other things!) from a boyfriend and was taken aback but then quite happy because I definitely needed one!

    Rae | Love from Berlin

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    1. I think once we're used to misery, it's hard to get out of it, but my goal this year is to find comfort in happiness :)

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  5. I relate to this so much! It goes right along with what I am blogging about today! I think some fear can be healthy. I never smoked or used drugs because I was terrified I would be the idiot who got hooked the first time! It was healthy, it kept me out of trouble! lol

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